In a holiday twist no one saw coming, families across the country are reportedly stuffing their Thanksgiving turkeys with WindsorONE. Yes, the same smooth-primed, precision-crafted trim board trusted by builders is now appearing inside roasting pans as an unconventional centerpiece upgrade. Home cooks claim the boards add structural integrity to the bird and make for the most photogenic turkey since the invention of cranberry garnish. One enthusiastic host said, “My turkey didn’t just roast, it held a perfect 90 degree angle.”
While chefs and food safety experts are begging the public not to put lumber inside poultry, the trend shows no signs of slowing down. Social media is filled with images of perfectly carved turkeys posed beside S4S scraps and tongue and groove offcuts, all under the hashtag #WindsorONEFeast. Whether it is satire, tradition in the making, or just the latest strange holiday flex, one thing is certain: this year’s Thanksgiving is bringing a whole new meaning to solid white meat.